Body image. We all know what I'm talking about. In the media, in school, going out to clubs, even at work appearance matters.
When I asked my mother if she remembered at what age her hair went gray, she didn't know, because she didn't pay attention to it. Times have changed.
These days both men and women are expected to look fit and young, as well as being successful, popular, having a family, hobbies, travel and all that. Good looking, fit people, even get better jobs and higher salaries. Thus leaving a bunch of people stressed out with low self-esteem. I won't get into all that, because we've heard it all before. It's everywhere.
We're complaining about the pressure and I've realized that I too, no matter how hard I fight it, sometimes become one of the "followers". Only a few lucky ones are completely oblivious to the pressure. Naturally, it is a human trait wanting to fit in and be liked. For example, look at Tyra Banks. A magazine posted some "unflattering" photos of her, claiming she was overweight. She argued she was merely curvy and natural. Non the less, only a few months later she lost a lot of weight. Lady Gaga was mocked for gaining weight after surgery. She couldn't exercise, it's natural. And then there are headlines like, "monster face", when a celebrity show signs of aging. Oh! and also, the "monster face", when they try to fix it. It's quite sad actually. People are being bullied for not looking the way others expect them to. Ops! I got into it.
It has gotten better though! There has been an entire revolution where "plus size" women become super models or get their own TV show, women of color win Top Model, freckles and gap between teeth considered trendy and beautiful.
This is why I love fashion. Fashion is about pushing limits, getting reactions, making you think. It's commercial art.
The fashion industry may embrace the different in an extreme manner, but acceptance is acceptance and change has to start somewhere.
The problem is the focus not the body. The more we talk about it, the more we think about it. Realizing I am doing this exact thing, I still think some things are worth talking about, like our attitude towards what we read, see, hear and how we judge.
I've heard people say some pretty cruel stuff about celebrities, even the people who pride themselves in not being judgmental, judge them. It's seems like famous people aren't real to us. But even if they weren't, the risk is that real people will judge themselves by the standards created.
I have friends who hate their bodies and I will quote one of them on why she doesn't bother putting on makeup: -"Why put makeup on a pig?". But men love her, so she's obviously attractive enough by the standards of genetic nature. Is that not the standard that matter? Not only models find love (Just saying). So why do people feel like they have to look like models? (Btw! Models aren't all classic beauties, you know). We age, have children, our bodies change. It's supposed to. Why are we fighting our nature? We should rather honor and respect what the body has gone through, and focus on health and happiness.
Full figure, fit, skinny, short, tall, dark skin, pale skin, big nose, thin lips. Beauty is symmetry, yet it is the quirk, differences and personality that gives a person charm, without it we are merely copies of each other (Boring!). And wouldn't it be great if we just celebrated being unique?
The point is, that we're all born with different attributes. Some can never be thin, some can't put on weight, your nose is your nose. It's metabolism and the rest of that genetic predisposition stuff.
I have accepted most of my "flaws" and realized many of them were strengths. Don't spend too much time wanting what you can't have instead of owning your quirks.
That's where you'll find strength and confidence, both on the inside as well as the outside, and confidence is what's truly attractive. To quote Lady Gaga: -"Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way".
(All the photos of the beautiful people in this post are random pictures from Tumbler or borrowed from Google.
Unknown source. Except for Kate Moss for Calvin Klein underwear, obviously).
12/7/2022 02:45:49 am
ks for sharing the article, and more importantly, your personal exper ience mindfully using our emotions as data about our inner state and knowing when it’s better to de-escalate by taking a time out are gresat tools. Appreciate you reading and sharing your story since I can certainly relate and I think others can to
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